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How very undignified. Oh Elizabeth, what a silly thing to do. You could have left me a thousand pounds - that would have paid off my debts. But I can't take this."But her children - they'll hate me - oh this is silly." He was crouching in front of me, not touching me.Why don't you just put your arms round me. I'm so cold.He took his coat off and wrapped it round me. Not what I meant!"No. They won't mind. She originally left me half. Then changed it to leave us a quarter each."Oh! How can you be so mean - it was her money. Don't you care that I've just fainted!"I don't care about the money. How could I spend two and a half million? She meant if for you and that means she thought you'd take it. I just worry that you might feel there were strings attached. There aren't you know. It was simply left to you. Should pay off your credit card." He smiled at me.Fondly? Quiet heart. That way lies despair."I'm floundering. I'm sorry. I'm making things worse. Come on. Can you walk? Let's go. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa Claus' speech.If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."This one is compliments of HalGynecologist Assistant wantedA retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Sidney, Ohio, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair so they're ready for the Gynecologist's examination.The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings, Montana." Good grief ... Is that where the job is?" No sir, that's where the end of the line is right now."These are compliments of Whiterabbit... Rules of the Household1. The female always makes the rules.a..
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